


i'll stand by you

by annadavidson



Series: even the stars, they burn (a star wars: the old republic dual au) [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Dual AU, Gen, SWTOR AU, SWTOR Dual AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 05:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12101886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annadavidson/pseuds/annadavidson
Summary: The fly to Tython had been filled with an uncomfortable silence.Summary: A moment between Master and Padawan after the revelation of Kira’s past.





	i'll stand by you

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place before [The Stars Are In Shock](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12056211).

The fly to Tython had been filled with an uncomfortable silence. Godaey hadn’t known Kira would be quiet for so long, and he’d found he missed her filling the time with some sort of conversation. Xeleth was quiet but that wasn’t anything new. Erika wasn’t in the cockpit but off doing… something – he’d found the less he knew about Erika’s activities, the better. She wasn’t his Padawan, after all.

But Kira was.

She seemed reluctant to leave the cockpit when they docked. He decided to stay back with her, giving Xeleth a smile to let her know he had things under control. They were in somewhat of a hurry – they needed to get to Tatooine to search for Master Kiwiiks, but Kira needed to see the Jedi Council. Her past seemed to hang on her, weighing her down. She needed to get it off her chest. As worried as they both were for Master Kiwiiks, they both knew this was the best path to take. They needed to see the Council’s reaction, to hear what the Masters wanted to do. And he needed to protect his Padawan, even if it meant protecting her from fellow Jedi.

Kira still sat in her seat, staring out the windows at the docking bay. She held her hands together, slouched, not quite sitting up straight. Nerves dripped off her in her posture and expression. Even through the Force, he could sense how nervous she was.

Godaey had to admit that he was nervous too. He knew what he thought the Jedi Council  _should_  do, but he had no clue what they  _would_  do. He didn’t even know how many of the Masters would show up. He wished Master Orgus would – if not to have someone in his and Kira’s corner, at the very least to know his former teacher was safe and alive. He wished his parents would show up. He’d sent them messages, trying to contact them to see if they could help with all that Darth Angral was throwing at them – even if they couldn’t, he wanted to tell them he’d been promoted to Jedi Knight and had a Padawan of his own. But he’d yet to receive any responses.

“I’m sorry,” Kira’s voice broke the silence, earning a glance from Godaey, who had been waiting for her to say something –  _anything._  “I should have told you from the start. I shouldn’t have kept this from you.”

Godaey raised an eyebrow, the movement barely noticeable because of the mask he wore. “You already apologized.”

Kira looked at him, clearly troubled. “You never accepted my apology.”

He glanced away, his gaze falling on the galaxy map in front of him. After a moment of silence, he spoke, “How much of my past do you know?”

Kira blinked, confusion lacing her tone. “Nothing. I don’t think you’ve told me anything. But I – I never  _asked.”_

“And I never asked about your past,” he pointed out, gaze falling on her once again. “I have no dark secrets. My parents are both Jedi Masters. My aunt and uncle died when I was young. My cousins, Xeleth and her sister, Litioka, came to live with us after that. But I had a good childhood, nothing to complain about, nothing to hide.”

Kira frowned. “But I kept secrets. I should have told you–”

“Why do you think I’m obligated to know your past?” he cut her off, keeping his tone gentle, soft. “Because I’m your Master? Because we’re friends? Your past is  _yours,_  and it is your right to keep it to yourself or share it with others. No one is obligated to any information about you except  _you.”_

She was silent for a moment. “We were led to a trap because of me.”

“And we handled it,” he countered, “And you chose to share your past with us. You didn’t have to do that. I trusted you before I knew, I trust you now, and I would have trusted you even if you’d never given me an explanation.”

She stood up abruptly, frustrated. She’d been so scared of the Jedi Council finding out about her past. She’d kept her mouth shut, trying with all her strength to keep this from Master Kiwiiks when she was her Padawan. And now her current Master knew – he’d found out from someone else instead of her pulling him to the side during their travels and coming clean. He’d found out in perhaps the worst way, and yet here he was, responding with kindness. She found it both touching and frustrating. He was clearly trying to rationalize her own choice to keep her past to herself and yet he’d never once said he accepted her apologies.

 _“Why?”_  she stressed, not sure if her frustration was directed completely at the miraluka or if some, perhaps all, of it was directed more at herself. She wasn’t sure who she was more upset with.

Godaey watched her, sensing her frustration, her confusion, and the comfort she didn’t seem to think she deserved to feel. He stood up from his seat, calmly, and smiled softly at her.

“Because your past is just that – the  _past,”_  he explained, slowly and carefully approaching her. “Our pasts don’t define us, Kira. The past serves to teach us so that we don’t repeat it and its mistakes. What defines us is our present – the choices we make, the people and causes we care about. The path that we walk on  _now_  defines who we are and where we’re going. All the past does is show where we’ve been and what we’ve survived to get where we are and become who we are meant to be.”

He gently took her hands in his. “You were born a Sith, but standing in front of me, all I see is a  _Jedi.”_

Kira bit down on her lower lip, her eyes watering. In all the scenarios she’d imagined, all the reactions she’d thought she’d receive once her past was out there, this… She hadn’t thought she’d hear these words.

“Then why won’t you  _forgive_  me?”

Godaey released her hands and placed his own hand gently on her shoulder. His tone became serious, but still somehow held its usual gentle, soft touch. “I’ll never give you forgiveness, Kira. I can never accept your apologies because  _you don’t need forgiveness._  You didn’t choose to be born in the Empire. You didn’t choose to become one of the Emperor’s children. Never apologize for choices you had no say in. You  _chose_  to leave the Empire. You  _chose_  to become a Padawan. Those were your choices, and you made the right choices.”

She was silent for a moment before he suddenly found her hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her. He’d grown up with his cousins who had been more like sisters than cousins to him. He found Kira was no different. She was like a younger sister to him – though he admittedly wasn’t sure how old she was compared to him. He knew she was worried and afraid. Neither of them knew what waited for them on Tython. But he hoped he’d helped her, at least a little. He didn’t want her to think she’d be facing the Jedi Council alone.

“Whatever they decide,” he declared, still holding her in his arms. “I’ll stand by you. You’ll never be alone again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like/reblog on Tumblr [here](http://magicrobins.tumblr.com/post/165374403795/ill-stand-by-you).


End file.
